


Eternal love (Camren)

by manzgayworld



Category: Camila Cabello (Musician), Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Family, One Shot, Sad, eternal love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-02 12:57:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20276281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manzgayworld/pseuds/manzgayworld
Summary: When love is stronger than death.





	Eternal love (Camren)

Lauren’s POV 

I am here, in this sinister place, holding the hand of my six year old son, facing this tombstone under which my wife has been resting now for a few hours. The sky is of an orange color as I like it. A light breeze strokes our cheeks like a breath. It's her. I know it. I feel it. She is there, she accompanies us in the beauty of the sky and the softness of the wind. A silent tear bead on my cheek while I tighten my hand on Jayden's hand, our little boy. He doesn't say anything, he silently observes the picture of his mother, as if he was trying to memorize each facial features. He's afraid to forget it, I know it but I also know that it will not happen. I lower myself to his height and takes him in my arms, his little arms squeeze me as hard as they can. Since the announcement of his mother's death from cancer, he has spoken very little. It's all the most painful to know that in this story I'm not alone, there is this awesome little guy who has also lost one of the two dearest beings in his life. Suddenly I feel his muscles contract, he's seized with a spasm, the latter announcing a sob to come. I then tighten my grip on him. He utters a cry of pain and burst into tears, I wasn't mistaken. I can't bear to see my son suffer so much. I squeeze him even more if possible and kiss his forehead whispering to him again and again how much I love him. He needs to know that I'm here for him, he needs me more than ever. I get up while carrying my son to keep him against me, in my arms and I say goodbye to my wife before telling her that we will come back to see her the day after tomorrow, then I leave the cemetery. My son falling asleep in my arms.

Arrived at the car, I put him in his seat and go behind the wheel. Tonight we will not go home, I don't feel able to sleep in this bed that we shared, without her, it is simply impossible. So I drive towards Dinah's house. Dinah is my best friend. And, she was Camila's best friend too...

Once arrived I take my son in my arms, he is sleeping, he needs it. All this pain, this lack it is exhausting, even for me. Dinah opens the door. She must have heard me arrive. She looks at me with that sad look that breaks my heart, her eyes red and swollen. She lowers her eyes slightly and sees that Jayden is sleeping, she nods to tell me to put him in the bedroom, which I do. Once in the room I take off my son's shoes, put him in his pajamas and warm him under the duvet. I look at him for a moment, he seems so peaceful, I think he is dreaming of her. I kiss his forehead long before finally leaving the room not without a last look for him.

I go downstairs to join Dinah. She is sitting on the couch, her head in her hands, she's crying. I approach softly and sit next to her. She raises her head and I throw myself in her arms, bursting in tears too. We cling to each other, in an embrace full of despair. We stay two hours before Dinah falls asleep. I get up slowly so as not to wake her up, lying on the couch and put a blanket. As for Jayden I kiss him on the forehead before joining him in bed.

Sleep doesn't come to me, I'm exhausted but she is haunting my thoughts. There is this sentence she told me when she learned that she would not make it out, I could never forget her, she said to me : "I could at least give you a child before my death, a part of me will always be with you" I turn my eyes to Jay who is still sleeping peacefully and caresse his cheek. He looks so much like her. Life without her is so painful, who would have thought one day that I would lose my wife to cancer, leaving me alone with a six year old. My heart squeezes and I start crying again when suddenly I feel little arms clinging to me. Jay... He's getting closer to me and goes back to sleep hugging me, I love him so much. He is as sweet as she was. He has the same way that it wrinkle his little nose when I kiss him, his little hazel eyes are the same intensity as those of his mom. He also inherited his mother's appetite. I let out a slight laugh while thinking about my wife's appetite. She was able to swallow almost two pizzas alone. This woman was a real mystery, but I love her, and seeing her eyes filled with happiness at the sight of a simple pizza made me happy.  
When she was pregnant with Jay, her appetite wasn't at all arranged, but I loved to see her pregnant, her pretty round belly, keeping warm our treasure... With her I spent the most beautiful years of my life. I know the ones to come will be too, because there is Jayden, but they will be beautiful in their own way, everything will be different. The past was a happiness to three and the future promises to be a happiness to two. She is dead but she remains my wife. We had married a year before Jayden was born, and I wanted my wife and son both to bear my name. We have sworn to love each other until death separates us, but the truth is that death will not stop us from loving each other, it only separates us temporarily. One day I will join my wife and we will be together again, in death. I love my wife, whether in life, death or any other parallel world. My love for her is inexhaustible. It was on this thought that sleep gained me.

I have only slept a little this night, the nightmares kept reminding me that she will not come back, that I will never again hear that sweet crystalline laugh that sounded in my ears like a blessing.

Today I decided to take Jayden to a special place.

\- Jayden?

He raises his eyes to me.

\- You put on your shoes and your coat my angel, please.

\- Where are we going? He asks me in a small voice.

\- It's a surprise.

\- Are we going to see mamma?

I smile at him sadly.

\- No, my angel, we're not going to see mamma. Prepare yourself please...

He runs without adding anything. I turn to Dinah who is leaning against the door frame.

\- We'll be back tonight.

\- Good, she said, her broken voice.

\- And please, call Normani, you as I know that you need her more than ever.

She lowers her head but says nothing.

\- Promise me that you will do it.

She raises her head, uncertain before answering:

\- I'll do it, it's promised.

A tear drops on her cheek. I go forward and take her in my arms before whispering.

\- Mani loves you, don't drive her away because you're suffering, she's lost Camz too. You both suffer, love and rise each other, you have this chance that I don’t have anymore, don't ruin it.

I step back and look into her eyes before she drops them. I tell her to look at me, which she does.

\- Don't feel guilty, we all make mistakes. It's up to you to repair this one.

She shakes her head slightly before that I add:

\- I love you DJ, you are my best friend as you were Camila's, she wouldn't want you to let yourself down, refusing love and I don't want it either. Call her and fix what can still be, before it's too late.

\- I love you, I don't know what I would do without you Lau. And you're right, I'll call her...

I smiled at her before turning to my son.

\- Are you ready my heart?

\- Yes mommy.

I hold out my hand so that he can grab her and get out of the house to the car. I put Jay in his seat before driving to the beach. I decided to take Jayden to talk to him about his mom, Camila loved this beach so I thought it was the right place.

The journey is silently, everyone in their thoughts.

We are finally arrived. Jay is amazed at this landscape. He has already been to the beach of course, but each time he's even more amazed than the previous time. He's a little boy who loves life, he loves to observe the beauty of nature, to understand the world. According to my wife he would take it from me.

\- That's the surprise mommy?

My son's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

\- Yes, do you like it?

\- I love it, yes!

I park on a parking lot before going to detach my son in the back. There are very few people on the beach. It's Tuesday, people are working. Me? I took a week off. Similarly, Jay will not go to school this week. I want to be able to spend this week with him, to accompany him, I don't want to abandon him in his pain. I came out of my thoughts by the hand of my son’s leaving mine. He starts to run on the sand, I imagine the feeling of freedom he is feeling at this moment, the sea air invading his lungs. His laughter reaches my ears, he's happy. The sadness leaves his little body for a few minutes of deliverance. His mind is empty and he becomes a little boy like the others, who doesn't have the weight of his mother’s death on his shoulders. Despite my sadness, I smile too, to see my son seeming free and happy warms my heart. I put a towel on the sand and continue to watch Jay running briskly. Suddenly he stops and looks at me. He's out of breath and his cheeks are red but it seems to have done him good. He approaches me and I open my arms so that he nestles in it. My little boy.

\- Thanks Mommy.

\- I love you Jay and mamma too, never forget it.

\- Do you think she's still with us? And she see us?

\- I'm sure of it.

\- I miss her...

\- Me too my angel, me too. But you know she will always be with us. In our hearts, I put my hand on his heart, in our heads, I pass my hand in his brown hair, but it's also this gentle wind that caresses your cheek, I say caressing his cheek. And when you can't sleep, look at the stars and tell yourself that your mamma is among them, that the beauty of the sky is a gift from your mamma. But you know she can also be that lightning that strikes the earth as if to tell you to never to give up. Or the sun that illuminates your days. Even the rain, weeping with joy, of pride for you, don't flee the rain, say that these tears come from heaven. At night she will be the moon, lighting you in the darkness. You see my angel, she is everywhere, she will always be there. And then when you miss her too much you can close your eyes, and if you think very very much about her then you will see her sweet face in your head, you will think about when she said to you I love you every night before sleeping, to her smile when we were preparing breakfast for her on Sunday morning, to her proud gaze when you cycled without the small wheels for the first time as a big one. You just have to close your eyes and believe it. Believe it with all your heart, with all your soul. And every time you're sad remember how she loved you, how she will always love you. You're our little boy and we will always love you, even from the sky. To every thing you will accomplish in your life I will be there, I will be proud of you and mamma will be too, from where she is. Every morning look at her picture on your nightstand and say it's a beautiful day to make her proud, to make us proud. She's in us, it's up to us to live for her now. You may not be able to see her physically anymore, but she will be forever in our hearts and in our heads, she lives in us now. It's up to us to keep it in our memories, it's up to us to make her live through us. We will always be all three my angel, I promise you. Mamma watches over us, she loves us, you know? And I know that at this moment she smiles seeing us, because our smiles are her happiness, it's up to us to live and make her happy.

My son gives me a hug.

\- If she is with us, then she is also in our hug?

\- Yes my angel, she is in the middle of our hug, in our hearts, and as long as our hearts beat, so she will live.

I step back and look at my son with a tender look. A gentle breeze touches us, like a sweet caress. Jay freezes and I see him hold his hand to his cheek, eyes shining.

\- Did you feel it too mommy?

\- Yes... I felt it, I say tears in my eyes.

\- Is that- that's what people call the beauty of nature?

I watch him intrigued, and seeing that I don't understand he continues.

\- Are all those who left like mamma make nature more beautiful?

\- In some ways, nature is something really beautiful and I think that when we lose someone we take more time to admire how beautiful nature is. We see in her the love of those people we love. Nature speaks to us, we pay more attention to her.

\- Mamma loved the beach...

\- We will come more often my angel.

\- You promise?

\- I promise.

I give him my little finger and he grabs it with his.

\- Can we collect shells? For mamma...

\- Of course, my heart. We will bring them to her, tomorrow.

He throws himself into my arms again before adding:

\- I have the best moms in the world.

\- And your mom and I have the best little boy in the world, I said, kissing his forehead.

He departs and takes me by the hand.

\- Come on, we'll pick up beautiful shells for mamma.

My heart is tight but despite that I smile. I lost the love of my life but I have a wonderful son, a part of her that will always stay with me, in addition to all the love I have for her despite the death that separated us. I will love her indefinitely. She is the soul that completes mine.

It's been a crazy day and it's time to go home, night having fallen a few minutes ago now.

In the car I decide to put the radio to accompany us, but suddenly All of the stars of Ed Sheeran starts to play. 

Camila...

"It's just another night

And I'm staring at the moon

I saw a shooting star

And thought of you

I sang a lullaby

By the waterside and knew

If you were here

I'd sing to you

You're on the other side

As the skyline splits in two

I'm miles away from seeing you

I can see the stars

From America ?

I wonder, do you see them too?"

\- Mommy?

\- Yes my angel?

\- Is this a sign?

\- What?

\- The music. Is mamma telling us to look at the sky, to see her among the stars?

I'm surprised by my little boy's thinking, but I smile at this idea. Ed Sheeran was my wife's favorite singer.

\- Well, I think so, yes.

He adds nothing and turns his gaze to the window, staring at the starry sky.

Once arrived I realize that Jay has fallen asleep during the journey, I want to bear him but he wakes up. I tell him that we have arrived and he’s still half asleep when he gets out of the car. When I get to Dinah's home, I see she has followed my advice, asleep in Mani's arms on the couch. I can only be happy to see my two friends together. I tell Jayden to do what he has to do and I go to the girls to cover them with a blanket, the nights are cool. After that I go back to my room to find my son. He seems too tired to put on his pajamas himself so I help him before he slips into the bed. As for me I take this t-shirt that Camz loved to wear, it was her favorite. While preparing my stuff for Dinah's home I could not help it, I took her t-shirt, to have her smell with me, to have it on me. It's a need so intense, almost like a vital need. I put on the t-shirt and go to sleep under the sheets. Directly my son sticks to me. I see him feeling the t-shirt, I know he needs it as much as I do, so I press him against me, letting him fall asleep with my presence and the smell of his missing mother.

The night passes by but I can't sleep, I just contemplate Jay while thinking of Camila.

The morning arrives pretty quickly, I didn't sleep. I get up and go down to prepare breakfast for Jayden, Dinah and Normani.

Step by step everyone gets up. Happy to have his pancakes, my son jumps on me and attacks me with kisses. Usually it was Camila who prepared them, except on Sundays which was the day of exception.

Two hours later we're back in this cemetery. My son is happy to bring his shells to his mother's grave.

\- Hello mamma. I hope you are well where you are. Mommy says you can see us, and if we smile then you're happy. I promise you to smile mamma, for you, and mommy. I want to make you proud.

At his words silent tears bead on my cheeks. He is so young and so mature...

\- I love you mamma, and I promise you to take care of mommy, I know that she also has a pain in her heart, that she is sad. She doesn't know it but I hear her at night, she cries when she thinks I'm sleeping. I miss you, I wish I could hug you, he said.

I feel in his voice that he holds a sob. He turns around and I take him in my arms telling him that he can cry, that his mother will not blame him. I feel him nestling his head in my neck to hide his tears. I know he wants to be strong, but he’s only a little man, such weight isn't bearable for his little shoulders, he's only six years old.

My little boy still in my arms, I decide to speak in my turn:

\- You left such a void in our lives... But I'll be happy, for him and for you, I promise you. I will do everything for our child, he's this last part of you and he looks so much like you. I love you, and I will love you in eternity Camz, be sure.

I feel Jay falling asleep, exhausted by his crying, so I add:

\- I'll leave you my love, our son is tired, he needs rest. All of this is as hard for him as it is for me, but we will get by, because you deserve to be happy where you are, and I know that your happiness goes through ours. I kiss you.

The months pass and the pain remains, despite that I learned to smile, for my son, my source of happiness.

It's 10pm and I think back to this exhibition I did in honor of my wife three months ago. I have always been passionate about photography. Camila was my muse as soon as we met. I kept taking pictures of her, and I didn't stop even when she was ill. The photos I had of her was counted by the hundreds so, after her death, I decided to exhibit them. The time of a night in honor of my wife. I know she had always hoped that I did exhibitions, because it was one of my dreams, and what could be more beautiful than realizing my dream by love? Tonight I fall asleep with a smile on my face, thinking of her, and her way of always pushing me to give the best of myself.

External POV

Since that day, twenty-eight years have passed. Jayden is now thirty-four years old, he has become a surgeon, wishing to save lives. The loss of his mother at a young age gave him a taste for the job, he doesn't want anyone to have the same pain as him. He graduated by being first in his promo, he never relaxed his efforts, he wanted his mothers to be proud of him and he succeeded. It's been four years now that he's a surgeon, and every morning he thinks of the smile and the proud gaze of his dead mother, as well as his second mother. Two years ago, he married to a very sweet woman, a pretty brunette with brown eyes, and soon after his wife became pregnant, a little girl. Lauren was amazed by her grand-daughter, she kept smiling. Only today her smile is gone. Lauren died three days ago.

Jayden’s POV

Three days ago when I was going to see my mother to check up on her, she didn't open the door. At once surprised and anxious, I entered. Luckily the door wasn't locked. I called and looked for her but no answer. I finally climbed upstairs and found her asleep in her bed. I tried to wake her but I did not succeed. She had fallen asleep in eternity. Of course by not finding a pulse I started to panic, my hands began to shake, my throat tightened, and a tear ran down my cheek. But... She had that smile, happy to join the one she has loved for all these years. She never stopped loving my mother. And I know she lived only for me, that she was waiting for the day she would find her love again. She has finally found the one she loves, and I know that where they are they watch over me and now it's only me to make them proud, to make them smile. I have to live for them until I go to join them too. I know she has been waiting for years and I can only be relieved for her.

Today is the funeral of my mother and I will speak in front of all these sad people. I know they loved her all, not as much as me, not as much as my second mother, but I know these people cared about her. In the front row is my wife, my daughter, and by their side there is Ally, Dinah, and Normani in her arms. I know it's hard for them three, they were five best friends, and now they are only three but I also know that some of them are relieved, my mother was suffering from being away from her love. It's therefore in front of these people who have all once loved my mother from near and far that I begin my homage :

\- I saw in her eyes every time she told me about my mother that her desire to join her didn't leave her. But she remained, for me, to help me, to love me. She loved me for both of them. She loved me with a powerful love, she taught me life, she taught me happiness. I know it was hard for her but she did everything for me. She has made sure that I'm in peace with myself, that I have love around me, that I'm happy. She supported me until her last breath. And I'm sad not to have her with me today, but I'm also happy because I know that the two people I love the most in the world are finally back together in eternity, happy and in love. Doctors can't explain her death, but I know. Her body was exhausted, the pain of her lost love had been too heavy for years. She waited all these years that I grew up, she waited to see that my future would be healthy, serene, that people would be there for me before leaving to rest in peace. I know she was happy by my side, but in spite of that my mother has always missed her, day and night. I often heard her call out my mother's name in her sleep, sometimes she murmured to her, sometimes she woke up crying and sometimes I saw her smile. I know she had dreamed of her every night for twenty-eight years. Her dreams were the only way for them to meet for a few hours. I admire my mother for having spent so many years after having lost the love of her life, she was my model, they were both my models and they will always be. Their strength and love for each other, as well as their love for me, are the most powerful things I have ever witnessed in this world. I know that many of you don't believe in true love, but to having witnessed it, I can tell you it exists. I saw their love unfailing for six years, and even beyond death this love never died out, it lasted. My mom was certain that one day their souls would meet again. She fought until I finally graduated, I know she wanted to be here for that, and for my marriage, and my first child, she wanted it for me. She was not as happy as she would have been if we had been all three, but today they are, and in spite of the sadness of the events I am too, I'm happy to know them together and happy. And I promise to love my wife and my daughter in the same way. I will never thank them enough for everything they brought me. Mommy, mamma, I love you, in eternity. Rest in peace...

**Author's Note:**

> This marks the end of this one-shot, I really hope you guys enjoyed it. And, maybe I have to clarify that English is not my language so it's possible that I made mistakes, if that's the case I'm really sorry.
> 
> Also, if you liked my work, feel free to leave comments and kudos, it means a lot to me, thank you ♡


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